i went to my father's funeral near the end of March. there weren't too many people, but all the ones that mattered were there. he was a veteran, so he had an American flag draped over his coffin. he had an absolutely beautiful eulogy, there was even a fellow veteran in attendance. he was laid to rest with a 4 gun salute by other elderly veterans in full military dress, out of town in the national cemetery, my mother's ashes put alongside him, and forever with him. i saw family members i had not seen in years and years...almost like childhood all over again. i had left off cutting my hair, my bangs in particular, so they were draped across my glasses completely. 'she's hiding from us' my older sister and niece said about me fondly, sweeping them aside. all of them had full families of their own, children that looked like young versions of them. one of my young nieces in particular they all said resembled me almost exactly.
...i must do my best to keep in touch, and not drift apart from them... i must now live my life for my mother and father, and sisters and brothers, and friends of family... even though i'm quiet and antisocial by nature (and this might have made it worse), i must strive to make contact-and continue it-send e-mails, draw pictures especially. i spent Easter with one of my older sisters and her family, husband and children and pets(one of them a poodle that originally was Mother's, but she was only a tiny puppy at the time and too hard for her to take care of in her age and failing health, even though she loved her so much). i also got a much needed haircut while i was there, but in the back. i had already trimmed the front myself the day or so before. they all live out in the valley, a bit beyond the main part of my Lavenderland.
most of April was spent trying to get a car...not so much finding one as trying to get in touch with my payee and the insurance company i was part of before, when i had the car that ended up with a blown engine and had to be scrapped. the man i talked to was very helpful, nice when it came to me not understanding at all the insurance terms and what prices were set at what for what, and etc. so then it became a matter of tracking my payee down and all of us talking together. but i own it now finally, so that's a good thing. but now, there's the matter of fixing it up, both in and out. the first chance we get we have to hobble it down to the auto shop. plus get in touch with my payee again to start my gas checks up once more.
...got through with the re-examination paperwork and trip up to Public Housing...this was thanks almost entirely to my husband, this coming up quick on the heels of our mourning, i wasn't in very good spirits...my husband's father told me that this was a turning point in my life, now that both of my parents had left this plane of existence, it was the beginning of a whole new chapter for me. i would begin to think and rationalize differently than i used to before.
my father had a calender among his things, that is the calender that we're using. i can keep track of appointments So much better now. i had a couple of dental appointments that i missed in March, had to reschedule them for April...also got to know a new dentist for a filling a couple of weeks ago. he seemed nice. i have at least one more appointment this month, and probably a lot more in the future, for touching up old ones. i'm going to try very very hard to take care of my teeth, admittedly this was something i had started to slack off on again last year. but both of my parents had dentures at a young age, and were always saying to take good care of my teeth while i still have them. i know that now...wish i had taken them much more seriously, was more diligent in my dental hygiene.
my older sisters both agreed that both light and plants in the house helps greatly with mood. i've been doing my best to open up the heavy velvet drapes in the living room to let in sunlight, at least for a little bit each day. and keep the house clean...but we've been running low on cleaning supplies...luckily our friend is helping us with that later today. sometimes its hard to tend to the living rooms and bedrooms, especially because it's been so cold and gray out lately. it snowed out even, it only thawed recently in the few sunny days we have in between all the rain and fog. the cold and damp affects my joints and muscles, aggravates my fibromyalgia, and my husband his arthritis in his hips and legs and arms. but no matter how sore and strange i feel, i must not, i refuse to let my bathroom cleanliness slide. we managed to talk to our landlord about our sink and toilet...he said he'd need to call in a plumber. and the shower is awful, we need some Comet perhaps, and some gloves. i actually had the energy to vacuum all the rooms, not moved everything and vacuumed like it should be, but in all the walkways and main areas at least. that's a start.